seven steps to snake-keeping

So yeah, I think the WiP has a name. It’s a placeholder, which means it will be called that until it gets trunked or published, basically. (Also, it’s a very lame in-universe in-joke that only I will find amusing, or indeed, catch. (The Melancholy Raven)).

Last night I went out with Nerine Dorman to the launch of Sarah Lotz’s new book, Tooth and Nailed. Ms. Lotz, by the way, says shit a lot makes for a very entertaining launch. Also, she’s utterly adorable and will probably fit in a handbag so I urge you all to steal her if you get the chance.

Then Nerine and I got horribly drunk. The End.

In other news, I have a helpful little seven step program that runs through what you need to do if a snake comes into your house.

step one: scream at your children (“DON’T TOUCH IT! GO TO YOUR ROOM!”)

step two: scream at your dog. (“OUT! OUT! LEAVE THE DAMN THING ALONE!”)

step three: tweet (OH MY HOLY FUCK THERE IS A SNAKE IN MY LOUNGE, AAAAH I DUNNO WHAT TO DO HALP HALP HALP)

step four: prod it with a broom

step five: try sweep it out your house

step six: give up, and pick it up in a dustpan

step seven: toss it over the wall.

There. Now don’t tell me I never post anything helpful.


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3 thoughts on “seven steps to snake-keeping”

  1. My dad keeps snakes, I’m OK with them but prefer not to touch them.

    Nicola and I went to Sarah Lotz’s book launch of Exhibit A last year. Nicola has read both Pompidou Posse and Exhibit A, I will be sure to tell Nicola about Tooth and Nailed – sounds good.

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